Corrupting Bella Swan
by angel with fake wings
Summary: What happens when you leave Bella with Jasper & Emmett.........TROUBLE ! Post Breaking Dawn. Involes ice-cream, a mental institue, wal-mart & family therapy ? I suck at summaries
1. The Newtons

Em's POV Chapter 1: Newton's and Jail:

"Emmett, please don't do anything stupid." Rosalie begged me. I pouted. I hated when she did this to me.

"Can't promise you that Rose, but I'll try my best."

"Every time we leave you alone, you end up wrecking something." she complained.

I chuckled. Like last time, with the talking cows. Yeah, that was the reason we had to leave Idaho so early. Stupid Volturi and their rules. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Emmett. Don't do anything like that again please. People thought those cows were possessed."

Stupid, mind-reading, vampire.

"I'm not stupid!"

Go say goodbye to your wife Eddie. By the time you're back, Japer and I will have corrupted her innocent brain. "

Emmett, please." Edward sighed. "Don't call me Eddie."

"Edward?" Bella called, "When are you leaving?"

"Now." he called back to her.

Bella came dancing into the room. She lightly kissed him on the lips. Yuk. Edward smiled.

"STAY OUT OF MY MIND!"

I screamed at him. Bella looked at me like I was mental.

"That's because you are mental, Em."

"Shut up Eddie." I snapped. "Stay out of my mind."

"Come on Rose," he snickered, "Carlisle and Esme are waiting. Alice!"

"Coming! Bye Jazz."

"Bye." he said back, leaning down to kiss her. I did the same to Rose.

"Goodbye. Emmett, Jasper? Nothing too weird, please?" Rose pleaded.

"BYE!" I yelled, slamming the door in her face. I went and sat on the couch.

"Jazz, wadda ya wanna do this time?"

"Emmett, no. We aren't going to do anything that will make us have to move. I like Forks." Bella scolded.

"Aww, come on, Bella." I whined. "It'll be fun!"

"Jasper?" she said, looking to him for help.

He smiled and sat next to me.

"You have to try an Emmett Adventure Bella."

"How 'bout we egg Newton's house?" I said randomly. "OOH! And put sticky-notes all over his car!"

"YEAH!" Jasper yelled, giving me a high-five.

"Oh, no. Emmett Cullen, no way." Bella said.

"Come on, Bell. It'll be great."

"Yeah!" Jazz agreed.

"Em, we all don't have a mind like a two-year-old. I prefer to be mature."

"Ooh, ouch. That stung, Bell. I think I'm gonna die now. OOH, THE AGONY!" I said dramatically, falling off the couch and clutching where my heart should be. She threw a knife, barely missing my head.

"EMMETT! STOP!"

"Whoa, Bella. Chill." Apparently those newborn emotions weren't gone yet.

"Jazz, a lil' help?" A sudden sense of calm went through me.

"Sorry, Em. You really made me mad." she apologized.

I chuckled, "It's fine Bella. Come do this prank with us. Pahllleeeeaaaassssseeeeee?" I begged. She stared at me for a moment.

"Fine."

"YES!" I was so excited.

"Jazz, calm him down before he hurts himself." Bella mumbled.

"HEY! I'm not that mental."

"Are you sure you weren't dropped when you were a child?" she muttered.

"Yes, Bella. I'm sure. It's just because I've had to look at Edward for the past, how many years. You better be glad he can't get into your head. He'd be driving you insane."

"It gets pretty annoying." Jazz muttered at my side.

Suddenly, Alice came through the door. Crap, I forgot about her. Stupid future-seeing vampire.

"Emmett. You idiot. Are you seriously mental?! Did you forget that I could see what you were planning?"

"Alice, chill. You know I'm gonna find a way to do it anyways. There's no way to stop me."

"Fine." she said, heading for the door. "Try not to get arrested."

Bella came and sat on the floor in front of Jazz.

"Who's up for some video games?!" I yelled.

"Honestly Emmett, I think you have some form of vampire A.D.D." Jasper muttered. "Shut up," I snapped.

Once I got everything hooked up, I turned to them.

"So, who wants to try to beat, me, the king, Emmett Cullen, at Halo?"

Bella rolled her eyes and Jasper laughed.

"Bring it on, Bro. Bring it on."

"I'm game." Bella shrugged.

I handed them both a controller. 3 Hours later:

"I quit," I said, tossing the controller to the ground.

I still hadn't one a single game. Cheaters.

"Emmett, you're such a baby." Bella teased.

I looked outside. It was dark out. Time to put Operation: Corrupt My Baby Sister into action. "

It's time," I muttered.

"Yeah, we still gotta get sticky-notes and eggs." Jazz agreed.

"I can't believe I'm gonna do this with you two." Bella mumbled to herself.

"Aww, come on. It'll be fun."

"No Emmett. It won't be fun. 'Cause we'll get arrested. My dad will be angry at me." "Charlie could help us stay out of jail." Jazz pointed out.

"Excellent plan, my brother!" I shouted, giving him a high-five.

With that, we got up and headed to Wal-mart. At The Police Station: Bella was right. We did get arrested.

"Bells, you jinxed us." I muttered angrily.

"No Emmett, you're stupidity got us here." she hissed.

Charlie came bursting in.

"Bella?"

"Over here Dad."

"Bella, what did you do?"

"It was Emmett's idea."

Charlie glanced angrily at me.

"Just wanted to have fun Chief." I said, raising my arms in defense.

"What about Jasper?"

"Oh, him? He's my wing man Sir. Does whatever I do."

Charlie ignored me. "Bells, why'd you do something so stupid?"

Bella giggled.

"Dad. I'm 19. Can't I just have some fun with my brother-in-laws?"

He sighed. "Bella, since you seemed to have so much fun, I'm gonna let you spend the night in jail with your brother-in-laws. I'm so disappointed in you Isabella Marie Swan."

"Fine." Charlie turned and walked out.

"Great. Now we're stuck here. Emmett, you're an idiot." Jasper laughed.

"Shut up Bella. You agreed to do it." I defended myself.

"Edward's gonna kill us all." Jasper mumbled.

Leave it to emo-boy to wreck everything.

"Yeah, but I can get out of it. You two are in trouble." Bella said matter-of-factly. I laughed.

"Bella. I'm way bigger than Edward."

"Emmett, you could do as much harm as a kitten." Jasper chuckled.

"Funny, Jazzy, Funny."

The Next Day: Edward came to get us. "I can't believe you could be so irresponsible! I mean Emmett, Jasper, Bella, what were you thinking?!"

"I'm sorry Edward." Bella whispered.

Finally we got home. He's lucky I don't wreck his stupid Volvo.

"Emmett, you touch my car, you're dead."

"For-your-information, I all ready am dead. Stay out of my mind." Jasper tried desperately not to laugh.

"Jasper, I can't believe even you were in on this!" he yelled.

Things got calm. "JASPER! STOP TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN!"

Alice came skipping into the garage. "Jasper Whitlock Hale. You're in trouble. What were you and Emmett thinking?! Dragging Bella into it, and getting arrested."

Oh flying monkeys. Rose. I forgot about her. I'm a dead man. Edward laughed. "Rose! Em's here!" he yelled

Thanks a lot, Bro.

"No prob." he laughed.

"EMMETT JONATHON CULLEN!!" (Eh, I made up a middle name ok?! Don't judge meeeee!) Rose screamed.

"Rose, chill. I'm right here."

"What was going through your thick skull?! Are you completely insane?! You got arrested!" She was fuming.

"I'm sorry babe. It's not like I haven't gotten arrested before." She sighed.

"Emmett, I'm grounding you."

What was I? Two?

"Rose you aren't my mom, you're my wife."

"Fine then. Esme?!"

"Yes?" she asked, coming into the garage. It was the Cullen family reunion. Hallelujah.

"Ground Emmett."

"Emmett, Jasper. I'm sorry, but you're grounded. Bella, I'm letting you off with a warning, because they dragged you into it."

"But mom!" Jazz and I whined.

"Emmett, Jasper. Drop it."

Well, that was final. But at least I still had my video games.

"Ooh! Jazz, Bells! Let's go play Halo!"

"What about Edward?"

"No, he cheats. You're the only one who could possibly beat him 'cause he can't get into your mind."

"Emmett, you're such a baby." Edward muttered.

"Emmett, you're such a baby," I repeated in a whiney voice.

"Whatever, come on. Let's play."


	2. Eating Contest

Em's POV

Chapter 2 Eating Contest:

"Emmett, Bella, Jasper. Please nothing stupid?" Edward begged.

Honestly, right now, I had nothing. Wow, that's a first.

"Good." Edward mumbled.

I scowled at him. "Stay. Out. Of. My. Mind." He snickered.

"Rose! Alice! Come on!" Esme yelled.

"Coming!"

"Bye guys. See you later." Esme said, taking Carlisle's hand.

"Bye Em." Rose said, kissing me.

"Bye Rosie."

"Bye Jazzy. Love ya."

"Love you too Ali."

"Bye Lamb." That was Eddie's nickname for Bells. He glared at me.

"Bye Edward."

Once everyone was gone, I sat on the couch.

"So, Emacula," that was Bella's name for me…..she got it from Dracula, just took out the D and put an Em, "what do you have planned for us to do this time?"

"Bella, call me something else, like Emmett the Great. I don't like Emacula. Hmm. How about an eating contest!" That sounded fun.

"Fine, I'll just call you M 'n' M. Ha, ha. I like that!. M 'n' M, we're vampires. We don't eat human food."

Jasper bursted out laughing. Oops, I forgot about that. "Well still. I wonder in vamps can get sick from eating too much human food. We could test it and tell Carlisle the results." I was a genius. Bella rolled her eyes at me.

"I'll watch, but I'm not touching any of the food."

"Come on then! To Wal-Mart!" At Wal-Mart:

"Pop-tarts, pizza, pop." I said, grabbing random things off the shelves. I was humming Hot 'n' Cold by Katie Perry. Ooh! I love that song!

"Emmett, please. You're embarrassing us." Jasper chuckled. I didn't realize I had started to dance, and people were looking at me funny.

"What are you looking at?" I growled. Yeah, I was intimidating. OOH! Big word! Esme and Rose would be so proud.

"M 'n' M, I think we have enough food." Bella said pointing at the now full cart. "Bella, don't call me that. Wait! We're forgetting something!"

Bella sighed. "What now, Emmett?"

"Marshmallows!" Bella's mouth fell open.

"Emmett, you must have A.D.D or something. Man, you need therapy. Maybe Carlisle should put you on drugs and make you normal." Jasper muttered.

"Shut up Jazzy." Bella giggled. "Let's check out, please?"

"Fine."

Party-poopers. Back At Home: "Okay. Jazz, you gotta eat all that, and I gotta eat all this." I said pointing at the separate piles. "We have three minutes."

"Kay. Jazz, Em. Get in your places. Ready? On your set… GO!"

I started to shove food into my mouth. I only had two Pop-tarts left when Bella told us to stop.

"Okay. Jazz, you have a whole bag of marshmallows and a Poptart left. Em, you have two Pop-tarts. Emmett wins!"

"Yes! In your face Jazzy-boy! Oh, ow. My stomach hurts. I'll be right back." I said running to the bathroom. I guess vampires could get sick for eating too much human food.

"Em, you okay? Jazz is in Alice's bathroom throwing up his guts." Bella said. Thanks Bells. Really needed a description of that.

"Yeah. I got it all out. I think."

"Jazzy? Baby? Emmett? You okay?" I heard Alice ask from downstairs.

"Oh my golly gumdrops. Who called her?" I asked.

"Emmett," Bella said rolling her eyes. "She saw what we were doing." Oh, right. Wonder if mind-reader boy is back too.

"Yes, Em. We all came home." he said from the door way. OH! I gotta tell Carlisle the news! I took off running down the stairs.

"Carlisle!"

"What Emmett?"

"Vampires can get sick from eating too much human food!"

"Emmett, I could have told you that. Our bodies reject the food because we can't digest it." Well, of course he knew that. Stupid, smart doctor vampire. Wait, that didn't make any sense.

"Did you just figure that out genius?" Edward asked from his piano.

"Get outta my head Eddie."

"Em, I can't help it. You're thoughts are so loud. It's hard not to answer to them." "Shut up, or I'll eat your precious piano." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Em, Jazz, and Bella Cullen. You're all grounded." Esme scolded. "Uh! Why do we leave you three alone!?"

"Emmett. I told you we'd get grounded." Bella whispered from next to me.


	3. Parties

Chapter 3 Parties:

Everyone was out hunting again. Honestly, you'd think that they'd learn not to leave me, Bella, and Jazz home alone…..But, you know what they say, can't teach an old dog new tricks.

"Em, what are we gonna do? It'll probably get us grounded again." Bella muttered. "We're gonna……umm……Throw a party!" I yelled.

"Yes! Good plan!" Jazz yelled.

"Esme and Edward will murder us." Bella warned.

"So what. We're immortal Bella." I pointed out, "Jazz, you're in charge of inviting people. Bella, you help me decorate."

"Kay. Wadda 'bout a DJ?" Bella asked. Jazz laughed. It was so obvious.

"I will Bella." I said matter-of-factly. "Oh. Right. Let's get to it then!"

4 Hours and 273 Phone Calls Later: "Kay, we're done." Bella sighed. "Even at vampire speed, that took forever."

"But look! It. Is. Awesome!" We waited for people to show up. Once everyone was there, I started the music. First was my favorite, I Kissed a Girl by Katie Perry. "Emmett Cullen. Are you serious?" Jazz asked.

"Yeah Jazz. Now shutcher trap and listen." I snapped.

Bella was singing along. Man, I'd like to see Rose kiss a girl. Of course, I noticed the family had come home when I thought that. Mind-reader boy is going to tell Rose. I get to die, again.

"Emmett, Jasper, Bella Cullen. Must you three always do something while we're gone? Why can't you be good kids and watch T. V. or something? Give us a rest." Esme said when she got near us.

"But mommy dearest! You're Emmie Bear likes his adventures!" Jasper yelled out. Oh, no he didn't just call me Emmie Bear.

"I'm not even gonna bother to ground you three." she sighed. Yes! Score! Eddie smiled. I wonder if he's told Rose yet. He shook his head and mothed

'Not yet, I haven't.' Please, Bro. Have mercy on my beautiful self! She will kill me! He smiled. "Not gonna happen Emmie Bear."

Grr!!!!! Jerk. Decode by Paramore came on.

"OOH! I love this song!" Alice yelled.

"Me too Ali!" Rose yelled.

Well, finally she tells me her favorite song! Edward rolled his eyes. GO LISTEN TO SOMEONE ELSE'S MIND! I yelled mentally. After The Party:

"Whoa, Em, that was fun!" Bella yelled. Edward came up to her.

"Bella. Emmett and Jasper have officially corrupted you. Just think about what he will do to Nessie when she's around!"

"Oh, come on Edward! Loosen up!" she giggled.

"Emmett, Bella, Jasper." Esme said.

"Pick up this mess. You three made it." She looked annoyed. "That's because she is you idiot." Edward pointed out. Kid, I'm gonna beat you. Stay. Out. Of. My. Mind.


	4. WallMart

Chapter 4 Kicked Out Of Wal-Mart;

Yes, they were hunting again. Sometimes I think that they are on some of Carlisle's drugs and they won't share. They say I get too weird on them. Anyways…..Time to put plan Wal-Mart into action.

"Kay, Bells. Jazz. Listen up, we're gonna go to Wal-Mart and do a bunch of crazy stuff to see if they'll kick us out." I explained as quickly as I could.

"Yeah!" Bella yelled.

"Good idea, Em!"

"Thankies my sista." I said. I have no clue what thankies means, but Alice taught it to me, and it sounds cool.

"Now. Are we gonna take my Jeep?"

"Sure." Jazz said.

"SHOTGUN! Bella, you get back seat."

"Fine." she grumbled. She hated the back seat.

"TO WAL-MART!" I screamed as loud as I could for dramatic effect. At Wal-Mart: "Okay guys. Time to put my brilliant plan into action." I said as the loudspeaker came on. Yes, perfect timing. I fell to the ground clutching my head and, screaming

"NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD EDWARD!!!" (Originally I was going to say Charles, but Edward fit better). Bella and Jasper were practically rolling on the ground with laughter, and people were looking at me like I was a lunatic. It was great! When the person was done talking I got up and brushed myself off.

"To the dressing rooms!" I walked up to one of the open ones and told Jazz and Bella to wait outside. Once I heard that the lady was at the desk I screamed, "I THINK WE'RE OUT OF TOILET PAPER IN HERE!" Then at vampire speed, I unlocked the door, and jumped out the top, landing by Jasper and Bella, who were crying they were laughing so hard. Well, not crying, but…..whatever. You know what I mean.

"To the old lady clothes!" I walked up to a rack with long coats and hid inside it. Trust me, for a man my size, it was not easy. Bella and Jazz pretended to be looking at clothes. Finally, an old lady came to look at the coats, and I whispered,

"Pick me, pick me."

When she went to look behind the coats, I ran at vampire speed to Bella and Jasper's sides, too fast for the lady to see. The lady looked up in shock, and then fainted. Jazz, Bella, and I were in hysterics.

"Okay….to….the….bouncy…..balls!" I yelled out between laughs. I grabbed a hand full of bouncy balls and threw them down the isle. It was amusing to watch them bounce. When a Wal-Mart employee came to check it out, not noticing us, we walked out of the isle looking like any normal shopper.

"We gotta get a cart." I told them now, heading towards the front of the store. I grabbed a cart and told Bella to get in. Jasper wanted no part in this. He's such an emo boy. Ugh! I ran at human speed and jumped on the cart. We were flying down the isles. It was a blast! That's when I saw the employee. I stopped the cart right in front of him.

"I'm sorry," he said politely, "but I'm going to have to ask you three to leave." "Okay. Bells, Jazz, let's go home. Rose, Alice, Edward, Esme, and Carlisle should be back soon"

The worker was checking Bella out, and I didn't like that.

"So, Bells, what do you think your husband is gonna do when he finds out about this? She looked at me with an eyebrow raised in question. "I don't know. Probably murder us. He over reacts all the time." she laughed. In The Jeep: "Em, what was all that about? Back at the store?" Bella asked.

"That weird worker dude was checking you out. I thought it'd be fair to warn him you were a married woman. I'm your older brother, that's my job."

Suddenly, Lady GaGa's song, Poker Face, came on. So I turned it up all the way, and sung at the top of my lungs.

"Great," I heard Jasper mutter, "He's gonna sing the entire way home. Why must he find ways to torture me so?"

Back At The House: "You what?!" Edward asked in fury. "Uhm, got……kicked out of Wal-Mart?" Bella said sheepishly.

"Bella!" Edward yelled in exasperation, "Why would you be so stupid?!"

"I'm sorry, Edward." she whispered. She honestly looked like she wanted to cry. He looked at her and sighed.

"I'm sorry for getting upset, love. You were just having fun." HOW DID SHE DO THAT?!

"Do what?!" Edward snapped.

Get out of trouble!

"She's beautiful and irresistible." he stated simply.

What? And I'm not? Low blow, Eddie boy. I have just the thing… "AAAANNNNNNDDDDDDD………."

"Omghpqxyz. Emmett, please no." he pleaded. (About the omghpqxyz, I made it up one day by saying random letters after omg. It stands for, Oh My Gosh Hot People Quit Xylophones Yellow Zebras.)

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy, it hurts!" I started singing, taking off my shirt, and throwing it at Jasper, who was on the couch next to Alice. "Emmett, do us all a favor, and put your shirt back on, please." Jasper muttered.

"Oh, shut it Jazzy. You know you like to look at these sexy muscles."


	5. Rockband & Joyriding

Chapter 5 Rockband+ Esme's Furniture= Disaster

"Bella! Jazz! Guess what?!" I screamed.

"You found your brain?" Bella asked from the couch. I picked up a pillow and threw it at her.

"No. I got Rockband!"

"NO WAY!" Jasper yelled.

"Yes way! Wanna play?"

"Yeah! Come on Bella! I'll play guitar, Emmett gets drums, and you can sing." Jasper was so excited. Well, maybe my emotions were so strong they were causing him to be like this….. It's a possibility.

"Why does Emmett get drums?" Bella was whining like a child. Psh, I was wayyyy to mature to act like that.

"'Cause he likes to hit things." Jasper stated simply. "And he is a horrid singer." Grrrrrrrrr. Stupid emotion feeling vampire.

"Come on guys! I have it set up upstairs!" We all ran really fast to the family room up there. "What song do you want to play first? OH! We should video tape it and show it to Rose and the rest of the family!" Another brilliant idea from muah!

"Yeah!" Jazz agreed.

"I'm So Sick, by Flyleaf, Em." Bella suggested.

"Kay." I went to the song and clicked the green drum. When the song was over I stared at Bella and Jasper. "

We. Were. AWESOME! That was great guys!"

"Em, I'm a girl."

"You sure about that Bella?" I teased. She got a murderous look on her face and lunged at me, smashing the drums, and Esme's couch. I got up and she smashed into me again, breaking the coffee table. Apparently Jasper was having too much fun watching me get beat up by a girl; that he didn't bother to help me. She lowered her mouth to my jugular and was about to bite, when Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Edward, and Rose came through the door.

"What. Happened. To. My. House?!" Esme screamed.

"Crap," Jasper muttered.

"You are dead." She screamed. "Esme! We aren't technically living!" I yelled out. Oops. Didn't mean to say that out loud. I. Am. A. Dead. Man.

"Yeah you are bro." Edward chuckled from beside me.

"Shut up." I muttered. Then I heard Esme hiss, so I looked at her. She looked scary. She looked like a vampire. I decided then, it was the time to run.

"EMMETT! GET YOUR FAT BUTT BACK HERE!" Esme screamed from the door. Whoa. Did Esme just say that? Hey! She called me fat.

"Hey Bells! Eddie left the Volvo here! Wanna go for a joyride?" I screamed. I really didn't need to, but hey, it was fun.

"Em, ya don't gotta yell." she mumbled, bounding down the stairs, right into me. "Bella, watch it."

"Sorry Em."

"JAZZ! Oops. Jazz? Wanna come with me and Bella in the Volvo?"

"Sure."

"Kay! I'm driving."

"Aaw! Emmett!" Bella whined, "I wanna drive!"

"No. You get shotgun."

"Fine. Jazz, you get back seat!"

"AAW! Fine."

"Let's go! TO THE VOLVO!" I yelled, humming the James Bond theme song. 20 Minutes Outside Of Forks:

"EMMETT! SLOW DOWN!" Bella screamed in my ear. I looked at the speedometer. I was only going 180.

"Bella, we are vampires. We like to go fast."

"Not that fast!" "Fine." I said, slowing to 110, "There. Happy?"

"Well, it's better." she mumbled. I turned to smirk at her, but ended up crashing into a pole. How that was possible, I have no clue my friend.

"EMMETT!" Bella screamed. I'm pretty sure if we weren't vampires, we'd be dead. D-E-A-D, dead. It's also a good thing we were in the middle of no where. Now, I'd have to hide the trashed Volvo. So, I picked it up and tossed it into the woods. There. All better.

"Come on guys, let's get home." Edward was gonna kill me. At Home: Okay. So we got home and watched T.V, when Edward, Alice, Rose, Carlisle, and Esme came through the door. Jasper and I agreed to think of something random, so Edward wouldn't know about the Volvo. So, I thought of hamsters, rainbows, and Lady GaGa. "What did you guys do this time?" Edward asked suspiciously.

"Nothing."

"Mmh-hmm."

We all went to do our favorite things. Edward went to the piano, Jake and Nessie came to visit, Esme went to the garden, Carlisle to his study, Bella laid out in the sun, Jasper yelled at the X-Box 'cause it 'cheated', Rose looked at herself, Alice was shopping online, and I was desperately trying not to think of Edward's Volvo. Then I slipped. Edward took off for the garage. "WHERE'S MY VOLVO?!?!" Holy sock puppet in a sausage factory. I was dead. Jasper was dead. Of course, Bella was loved. "JASPER! RUN!" I screamed. "OH, NO EMMETT! YOU SLIPPED!?" he screamed back at me. The last thing I saw was Edward chasing after me and Jazz with a chainsaw and matches.


	6. School, Substitutes, and Grounded…Again

Chapter 7 School, Substitutes, and Grounded…Again:

We all had to go to school Monday. We also had to move to Minnesota. Carlisle and Esme were going hunting while we were at school. Me, Bella, and Jasper were still grounded for the Volvo incident, and had to buy Edward a new one. Mike was mad at us for the egging incident, we still weren't allowed in Wal-Mart, and Esme was mad that her favorite couch was smashed. Whoa. That's a long list.

"Emmett!" the teacher yelled.

"Huh?"

"What are the first six letters in pi?" What? Were we in 2nd grade?

"3.14159."

"That is correct." he said, carrying on with the lesson. Bella handed me a note.

"Em," It read. Didn't your momma ever teach you not to fall asleep in class? I sighed and wrote back. Bells, we both know I wasn't sleeping. I was thinking about all the trouble we've gotten in. 1. Newton. 2. Wal-Mart. 3. Esme's couch. 4. Edward's Volvo. I mean, seriously! How much more trouble can one get into?! I folded it and handed it back to her. She read it with a smile on her face, wrote, and tossed it back. True. Maybe we should move some where cooler after this… How about New York?

I smiled. New York would be nice… Still, I wonder how long it's gonna take till Edward kills me and Jasper. I was going to hand it back to her, but the teacher—he was a sub, and I always forgot his name, so I just called him Mr. Chapstick because Edward told me he hated Chapstick, and I made sure to use Chapstick in class—took the note, and read it. (In 7th grade, there was this sub we had, and he yelled at me for using Chapstick, so we called him Mr. Chapstick.)

"Should I read this to the class?"

"Go ahead." He reread it and looked disappointed, 'cause it wasn't some sappy love letter.

"No. It's not a love letter. What is wrong with you man!? She's my sister!" He looked up, shocked.

"Emmett, Bella, for disrupting my class, you can both go to the office. Fine, he wanted to play dirty? I could play dirty.

"Yes sir." I said, saluting him. Everyone laughed. His face turned red.

"Yo! Hey dude!" I said, waving my hand in front of his face.

"You don't look to good. My dad is a doctor. I could call him for you. Oh! Your lips look chapped. Want some Chapstick?"

"Get. Out. Of. My. Classroom."

"Come on Bells. He's a scary man. I don't want my little sister getting nightmares." I said, grabbing her hand and jogging out of the class room. Esme was going to kill me.

"Emmett. We're gonna be in so much trouble when we get home." She sighed, then, in Carlisle's voice, "'No games, Jasper, Emmett, Bella.' He's gonna kill us Em!" "Aww, come on Bella. We can't get in that much trouble. We are teenagers ya know." I said, walking into the office.

"Can I help you two?" the lady at the desk asked.

"Yeah, umm, we got in trouble in Mr. … Umm, the sub's class." I explained. She sighed.

"Well, since you're new here and the bell is about to ring for lunch, I am going to let you off with a warning."

"Yes! Hey, thanks!" I yelled.

"Come on Bella!"

"Emmett, you're so stupid." Bella said rolling her eyes. The bell rang.

"Bella!" I yelled, stopping suddenly, "Do you want a piggyback ride?!"

"Umm."

"Aaw, come on!" I said, flinging her on my back.

"EMMETT!" I bursted out laughing, and headed for the cafeteria. When I walked in, everyone stopped talking and stared at us.

"Em, everyone's staring." Bella whispered.

"What are you all looking at?" I snapped at the people, and they all went back to what they were doing.

"That's better. I heard Jasper from across the room.

"Emmett! Bella! Over here!" Gosh, he didn't need to yell. When I got over there, I noticed that Alice and Eddie boy were missing.

"Where's Pixie and her oh-so-lovely sidekick, the awesome Mess-With-Your-Mind boy?" I asked.

"I don't know, they aren't here yet… Oh, wait, they're right there." Jasper said, looking towards the door.

"Eddie! Ali! Over here!" I screamed. Jasper, Rose, and Bella all bursted out laughing. When Edward came over, I thought about that whole 'If looks could kill' thing. "Emmett. Why is my wife on your back?" he hissed.

"She wanted a piggyback ride."

"Uh, Em? Maybe you should put me down now." Bella whispered in my ear.

"Unless you want another chainsaw episode." My eyes got wide; I shuddered, and dropped her to the ground.

"Emmett. Why'd you call me Eddie?" he growled.

"Um." I was at a loss for words and scared for my life. Wait, I'm not living, but well, you get my point. Edward snapped, and tackled me. Then he started to punch me. It didn't hurt, but it was kinda embarrassing.

"Edward! Edward get off of Emmett!" Bella screamed. Alice was laughing, because she saw this coming, Jasper was shaking his head, and Rose was staring at us in horror.

"Jasper! Alice! Help me get Edward off of him!" Bella yelled, grabbing Edward around the waist. Once they got him off of me, Bella turned to him.

"Edward, you need to cool off. Go outside with Jasper." He looked at me with hate, then turned and left with Jasper. Then some kid came in with the principal. Great. "What's going on in here?"

"Nothing sir." He turned and asked the kid something. The kid pointed to me, Bella, and then Edward who could be seen through the window. The principal beckoned us over.

"What happened?" Edward came in the room.

"Nothing. We were just goofing around." I said innocently. He sighed.

"All three of you get detention." Well, that was a mistake to put all three of us in a room together. Edward nodded his head in agreement. Stupid vampire.

"Come with me. We have to call your parents."

"Em. Come on!" Bella said. Esme was going to kill us. Then Carlisle would.

"Sit." Mr. Principal ordered when we got into his office.

"Who wants to be the one that calls?" They all looked at me. Thanks guys.

"I will." He handed me the phone, and I dialed Esme's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi mom."

"Emmett? Why are you calling me? Oh, no. What did you do?"

"Mom, you, um, kinda have to come to the school."

"EMMETT JOHNATHON CULLEN! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" "Hey! Don't blame me! Edward started it!" She sighed.

"Carlisle and I will be there in a couple minutes." "Kay. Bye mom."

"Emmett, we are dead. Even more dead than when we crashed the Volvo." Bella muttered.

"Well that's not my fault is it?" I said looking at Edward.

"I still haven't forgiven you for that." Edward hissed.

"Will all three of you be quiet and stop bickering?" Mr. Principal snapped. Well then. A couple minutes later, Carlisle and Esme showed up.

"What did you three do? Edward? I though it would be Jasper." Carlisle was completely silent.

" … and…and…" It all came out of Bella's mouth so fast that I could hardly understand any of it.

"Edward! You punched Emmett?!" Carlisle yelled.

"Yeah. He deserved it." "We need therapy." Esme mumbled.

"Bella, Emmett, you two are grounded for an extra month. Edw—."

"Wait," The principal stopped her. "They were already grounded?"

"Yeah. They crashed Edward's Volvo." She said.

"Edward, no piano. Two weeks."

"What?! No!" "Yea. Emmett, no T.V. or video games."

"WHAT!?!?!" "Bella, you have to go shopping with Alice."

Bella, who was standing up, fell, and Edward had to catch her.

"Well, I was going to give them detention, but I'll just give them a warning." NO VIDEO GAMES!?! THAT WAS TORTURE! Rose will make me hold the mirror for her! NO! Well, Bella's was worse. Hmm, maybe I'll go with them.

"But, you can't go back to class. You must go home for the rest of the day." Mr. Principal finished.

"You may go."


	7. Proctecting Bella from shopoholic pixie

**A/N: Sorry for taking ages to update. Fanfiction wouldn't let me upload !**

**Chapter 8: Protecting Bella and Shopping With Alice:**

"Emmett! Bella! We're going shopping!" I heard Alice yell. Oh man.

"NOOOO! Stay away from me evil!" I screeched, making a cross with my fingers. "Oh great gumdrops." I heard Bella say from beside me.

"Come on you two. Or I'll call Esme and tell her you aren't listening!" The little pixie was threatening us!

"Jazzy you are coming too. Esme left me in charge."

"Alice please! I'm begging you!" Jasper pleaded, dropping to his knees.

"Sweetheart, plea—" "Jasper." She snapped. "

You are coming with." At the mall…5 hours later:

"Alice, can we please take a break?" Bella asked after we walked out of Hot Topic... For the third time.

"Whatever. Let's go sit in the food court." She sighed.

We all walked over there, people staring the whole way.

"OOH! Jazzy, we have to run to American Eagle quick!" She yelled at him.

"Oh, man." He complained, but got up anyway. That left me and Bella alone. "Well," Bella said, breaking the silence, "at least that isn't us."

"Yeah, reall—" but some rude man cut e off, trying to flirt with Bella.

"Hey sexy. What's your name?"

"Um, Bella." She told him. Ugh Bella! You aren't supposed to tell him your real name!

"Pretty name. I'm John. John James the fourth." And hopefully the last… "Would you like to take a walk with me?" he had a very nasally annoying voice. I wanted to slap him.

"Go away." I warned, Bella looked uncomfortable.

"Or what?" he challenged. I chuckled.

"Or I'll get her husband to come and hurt you. Or I could just do it. I'm overprotective when it comes to my baby sister. Now leave Johnnie boy or I'll hurt you."

"You're married?" he asked Bella.

"Yep! See, look it my ring. Isn't it pretty?" she asked, holding out her hand. He stared at it open mouthed, and then turned, tripping over a random corn-dog laying on the ground, smashing his face into a plate of pizza, and knocking himself out. I looked at Bella, then burst out laughing.

"Oh, my gosh! What a moron!" she yelled, falling backwards out of her chair. Of course, that made me laugh harder.

"Will you quiet down?" Alice yelled when she came back, "Alice…you…should…have…seen that!" I yelled out between laughs. Jasper calmed me down.

"He tripped over a corn-dog, smashed his face into some pizza, then got knocked out! It was worse than when Bella was a human!" Alice chuckled a bit.

"We still have stores to go to guys. Come on!" she yelled. 6 hours and 426 shopping bags later:

"Home! Home at last!" I screamed out once we got home.

"Drama queen." Jasper muttered from behind me.

"Emmett? What are you telling about?" Esme asked, appearing at the door way.

"Oh Esme! Alice, she-she forced us to go shopping for nine hours! It was terrible! I wasn't even allowed to go to Game Stop!" I screamed, grabbing her into a hug.

"Well, that's your fault for getting grounded." Esme muttered.

"You shouldn't have grounded me!"

"EMMETT! STOP YELLING!" everyone yelled at the same time. Well then.

"Fine." I muttered.

"Oooohh! Guess what! We went to Build-ABear! Rosie! I got you a teddy bear!" "Aw, Em." She said in a loving tone.

"His name is Sir Pickle Pants the Four-hundred-thousand, sixhundred-twenty-fourth. You have to call him by his full name all the time."

"Uh, okay?" her tone questioned my sanity. "Em!" Edward yelled from the living room.

"You have no sanity to question!" Grr bro. Oh, hey! The chainsaw! You better run Eddie. I'm gonna getcha. Emmie Bear's gonna come after ya! Whoa. Wait. Did I just call myself Emmie Bear? What is wrong with me? I started the chainsaw and ran after Edward. SWEET REVENGE!


	8. Fair Anyone ?

Chapter 9: Fair anyone??

Fair Anyone?

"BELLA! BELLA, BELLA, BELLA, BELLA!!!!" "Emmett, what on Earth are you screaming about?" my wonderful mother asked me.

"Look!" I thrusted the paper in her face.

"Hmm, a fair? Let me guess, you want to go?"

"Yep!"

"What is it Em?" Bella asked, walking through the living room to come to the kitchen.

"A fair!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Uh, Edward? Honey are you okay?" Bella was trying not to laugh.

"JASPER! PLEASE STOP SINGING SHOES BY KELLY IN YOUR HEAD!" Jasper laughed from upstairs. Hmm, that was a good song. Shoes,

shoes, shoes, ohmigawd, shoes. Let's get some shoes, let's get some shoes, let's get some shoes, let's get some shoes. These shoes rule, these shoes suck. These shoes rule, these shoes SUCK!

"Emmett! Stop!" he screamed. I chuckled.

"Then let me go to the fair. And I will stop." I think you have too many shoes, SHUT UP! I think you have too many shoes, SHUT UP! I think you have too many shoes, SHUT UP! I think you have too many shoes, SHUT UP!!! Stupid boy

"Okay! We can go to the fair."

"Yay!!!!!" I screamed.

"Whoa!" Jasper yelled, jumping up and down.

"Uh, Jasper, why are you jumping?" Esme asked. "

The excitement coming off of Emmett is very strong. Emmett! Calm down!"

At the fair; "Yessssss! Let's go on the tea cup rides first!" I laughed. They spun around and around and around and around. Whoa, I was making myself dizzy. "Emmett, I don't think it's possible for vamps to get dizzy. Have you gotten into Carlisle's drugs again?" Edward laughed, remembering the last time when I smashed Esme's window and she swore at me.

"Emmett, if you got into my drugs again, so help me, I will strangle you." Carlisle warned.

"I didn't! I swear! I'm just really hyper!!!" Actually, I did get into his drugs again, he didn't need to know that. Oh crap, Edward can hear everything I'm thinking. "Carlisle, Emmett got into your drugs." Edward said, smirking.

"EMMETT CULLEN! YOU BETTER RUN BOY!" he screamed. Wow, I've never seen him this mad. So I ran. Accidentally hitting the Ferris wheel, which, in turn, rolled and hit the roller coaster. The roller coaster, which thankfully didn't have people on it, flew to the spinny ride thingy, and it broke it. Well, there went my idea of getting dizzy. Darn it. Edward ruined all my fun. Jerk. I looked around, there was no one here.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

"Um, Emmett, you didn't look at the time for the fair. It doesn't actually open until tomorrow." Bella laughed.

"Oops." Well, I don't think it will be opening tomorrow.

"Emmett. I am going to kill you. Again." Carlisle spit through his teeth.

"We really need a family therapy session." I heard Esme mutter before I ran for my un-dead life.


	9. Family Therapy

Chapter 10:Family Therapy and Hearing Voices

"Esme, do we really all have to go to therapy?" Edward was complaining non-stop. "Yes. You can blame your drug addicted brother for that."

"I am not addicted to drugs." I defended. Carlisle growled from his study. "Sorry Carizzle." I snickered.

At the therapist's

"Come on everybody. We have to go see Dr. Sullivian." Esme ushered the whole family out the door.

"I don't see why I have to pay for my moronic husband." Rose mumbled unhappily..

"Hey Jasper, did you know that therapist separated into two words is, The Rapist?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"The Cullen family? Can you come with me? Dr. Sullivian will see you now." The secretary said, ushering us into his office.

"Hey there Dr. Sully. What's crackalackin'?" I said, flopping onto the couch.

"Hello. I would like to have you all introduce yourselves. You start."

"I'm Rosalie, and I have no reason to be here."

"I'm Esme and I believe that my children need serious help."

"I'm Carlisle and my children are maniacs."

"I'm Bella and Emmett and Jasper make me do stupid things."

"I'm Jasper and I really do not want to be here."

"I'm Alice and I love to shop."

"I'm Emmett and Edward hears voices in his head."

"I'm Edward and Emmett is a drug addict."

"Um, okay. Rosalie, why do you think you don't need to be here?"

"Because I am perfectly normal."

"Oh, so staring at yourself in the mirror for three hours straight is considered normal?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow.

"And hearing voices in your head is normal?" She snapped back.

"Okay. Esme, why do you believe your children need help?"

"Because Jasper and Bella are always getting into trouble because Emmett talks them into doing things. Emmett always takes Carlisle's drugs. Rosalie likes to look at herself, Alice shops too much, and Edward is, well, almost killed Emmett for ruining his Volvo." She sighed.

"Interesting. Emmett, why do you take your father's drugs?"

"Because they are yummy." I answered, smirking.

"Get that smirk off your face Emmett." Edward snapped.

"Make me Eddie." I said. I was testing him.

"Don't call me that."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you prefer Dweeb? How about Nerd? Oh, maybe, stalker? Seeming as you practically stalked Bel—"

He jumped on me and tackled me to the ground. He then wrapped his girly hands around my neck and pounded my head into the floor.

"Edward, stop!" Bella yelled, pulling him off of me. "This just happened at school. Emmett, must you irk him so?" The therapist looked at us in horror. "That happens often?"

"Yeah, only when it was Eddie's Volvo, he chased me with a chainsaw." I said, smiling the entire time.

"What?!" he seemed like this wasn't normal. Well, I guess it wasn't for human families. It happened to us all the time.

"And when we were at the fair, Emmett knocked over all the goodness nobody was there. It was all over Carlisle's drugs and how Emmett had taken some that day." Bella explained.

"And that one time we got thrown in jail for bugging Mike Newton. That was great." I added.

"And the time Emmett got us kicked out of Wal-Matt." Jasper added.

"And the eating contest where both me and Jazz ended up puking, And when we broke Esme's furniture playing Rockband."

"And that guy at the mall who tried to flirt with me and ended up tripping over a corndog and getting knocked out by pizza." Bella added. The therapist looked at us, then fainted. I think that was our queue to leave.

"Uh, guys, I think we should leave. I don't think he can help us." I said. So we left. We weren't called back for another session ever either. I don't think he likes us. Poor Dr. Sully. Oh look! A chair!


	10. Restaraunt eating

Chapter 11:Restaurant Eating

"Bella, Jazz. Let's go 'eat' at a restaurant!" I shouted. I just saw a commercial for Applebees.

"Em, we don't eat." Jasper sighed.

"So! We can still drink!" I think.

"No Emmett. You don't think."

"Shut up Edward."

"Yeah! Let's go!" Bella was with me!

So in the end, me, Jazz, Bella, and Edward went. At Applebees

"What can I get you?" the waiter was eyeing Edward. That was a little weird. Was he gay? Edward nodded in my peripheral vision. Haha. Gay guy goes straight for Eddie. "Just some drinks." Jasper said.

"Okay. What kind?"

"Surprise us!" I blurted.

"Okay!" The waiter left to get our drinks.

"Gah!" Edward gasped.

"What?" Bella asked, really concerned.

"The man is drugging my drink!"

I busted out laughing. "He wants a piece of sexy Edward. I'm sure Bella doesn't mind sharing." I chuckled.

"You just want a piece Em." Jazz mumbled.

"Well, duh. Everyone does." They all stared at me, wide eyed.

"Em, I don't roll that way." Eddie finally said.

"Does that mean you don't love me?"

"Well of course I love you, just as-" I cut him off.

"See! You do roll that way!"

"Emmett. I love you as a brother. That's it."

"So you don't want me?"

"No."

I pouted. "Fine. I'll go live with the Volturi. They'll want me there." I sniffled. "Emmett. We want you, just not that way." Edward said.

"So you do want me?"

"Not that way."

"What way?"

"The way you're implying."

"I'm not implying anything."

"Yes. Yes you are. I. Am. Not. Gay."

"I never said you were."

"You said that you wanted a piece of me and that Bella could share."

"I was talking about your piano playing skills."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing." Bella and Jasper were on the ground laughing.

"You're doing this on purpose." Edward accused.

"Doing what?"

"Trying to confuse me."

"I'm not confusing you."

"Yes you are."

"How?"

"You're making me think that you were implying something in your meaning but then saying that you weren't."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"How?" He glared at me. What is he talking about? I wasn't doing anything.

"Yes you were!"

"Nah-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Jasper yelled. We both glared at each other.

"I say we go home. Eddie doesn't want me. I'll walk." I said.

"See! You're doing it again!" he yelled.

"Doing what?!"

"That!"

"Let's go!" Bella yelled.

"I'm walking."

"No you aren't." Edward said.

"You don't love or want me. I'll walk."

"Emmett, get in the car."

"No."

"Stubborn." he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. Get in the car."

"You said something."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"Nope. Now get in the Volvo."

"No, not until you tell me what you muttered."

"I didn't mutter-" Bella cut him off.

"Edward! Just tell him!"

"I called you stubborn."

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"Get in the car Emmett."

"You don't want me."

"Are you PMSing?"

"Am I what?"

Bella broke into hysterics. "Are you getting a visit from Mother Nature Em?" she laughed.

"Huh?" what was she talking about?"

"Seriously Em? You don't know what a period is?" Jasper asked in disbelief.

"No?" What were they talking about??!!!

"Ask Rose when we get home." Bella giggled.

Well then. At Home: Rose told me what it was. That only happens to girls.

"Edward! That only happens to girls! I'm not a girl!" I yelled.

"You were acting like one!" he yelled back.

"Boys!" Esme screamed. "Stop it!"

I punched Edward really quick, but Esme still saw.

"Emmett, go to your room."

"What! Why?"

"Because you punched Edward. You're grounded."

"Fine." I clomped up the stairs to my room. Why did everyone hate me??????!!!!!!!!!


	11. Broken Windows

**11. Broken Windows**

**Bella POV**

I just dropped Renesmee at the treaty border. Today she is spending the day with Jacob, Quil and Claire. Renesmee is physically about Claries age now. She is growing up so fast. At least Emmett is too busy trying (and possibly exceeding) to corrupt me to do any damage to Renesmees innocent mind.

As I walked into the main house to find Emmett was watching TV.

"Where is everybody?" I asked

"Bella" He yelled as he lifted me up.

"Let go of me," I screamed struggling in his bear like arms. Finally my newborn strength has gone.

"Fine." He dropped to the ground; if I were still human I would have had a cracked my head open.

"Alice forced Jazz to go shopping with her; apparently Victoria Secret is having a sale. She said she would get you something"

_Great_, at least she took Jasper instead of me.

"Rose, Esme & Carizzle have gone hunting & Eddie has gone grocery shopping."

" We are vampires we don't eat"

"Unlike you Edward actually remembers to feed your daughter" He chuckled

_Oh yeah_! I'm such a crap mother though Edward would disagree.

"So where is Ness-" I growled at him cutting his sentence short.

"Renesmee, where is my favourite niece."

" Em she is your only niece & she is at La Push with Jake, Quil & Claire"

"Oh so it is like a double date"

"No it is more like a play date" Emmett has such a strange way of thinking of things.

"'Kay it is for now" _What does he think he is suggesting? _If he was talking to Edward he probably would have been through he threw the window.

"What do you mean?" I knew exactly what he meant.

" You know in about 6 years they will be playing naughty, dirty games"

"What"

"You know the kind me and Rose play"

"WHAT"

"Chillax Bells they are gunna one day."

"How can you think that far ahead"

"Bella"

"Yes Emmett"

"You know Jake is a wolf"

"A huh"

_CRASH_

Edward had just through Emmett through the window.

"Edward! What was that for?"

"Do you have any idea what he was going ask you?" He said coldly.

"No" I answered, "What was he going to ask me?"

Edward didn't answer me.

"Edward"

Still no answer

"Edward"

Again no answer

"_Edward_"

The Emmett climbed back through the window.

"Hey I was only going to ask if you think Jake and Nessie will do it doggy style"

_CRASH_

Opps I had just thrown Emmett through the another window. Esme would kill me if I didn't die in child birth.


	12. I've got an idea !

Bottom of Form

Emmett's P.O.V.

Damn I'm so bored. Hmmm.. Ooooh idea! We could play Truth or Dare with Bella

Hahaha! Oh crap Edwards coming! Ummm I need a distraction... Oh I got it *Miley Cyrus's Party in the USA! Hahaha !*

I hopped off the plane at LAX  
with a dream and my cardigan  
welcome to the land of fame excess, (woah)  
am I gonna fit in?

Jumped in the cab,  
Here I am for the first time  
Look to the right and I see the Hollywood sign  
This is all so crazy  
Everybody seems so famous

My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda home sick  
Too much pressure and I'm nervous,  
That's when the taxi man turned on the radio  
and a Jay Z song was on  
and the Jay Z song was on  
and the Jay Z song was on

So I put my hands up  
They're playing my song,  
And the butterflies fly away  
Noddin' my head like yeah  
Moving my hips like yeah,  
And I got my hands up,  
They're playin my song  
I know I'm gonna be ok  
Yeah, It's a party in the USA  
Yeah, It's a party in the USA

Get to the club in my taxi cab  
Everybody's lookin at me now  
Like "whos that chick, thats rockin' kicks?  
She gotta be from out of town"

So hard with my girls not around me  
Its definitely not a Nashville party  
Cause' all I see are stilletos  
I guess I never got the memo

My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda home sick  
Too much pressure and I'm nervous  
That's when the D.J. dropped my favorite tune  
and a Britney song was on  
and the Britney song was on  
and the Britney song was on

"Emmett why are you sing in your head?" Edward yelled holding on to his head.

"Because I like that song! So I put my hands up they're playing my song, And the butterflies fly away nodding my head like yeah moving my hips like yeah, And I got my hands up, They're playin my song I know I'm gonna be ok Yeah, It's a party in the USA Yeah, It's a party in the USA!"

"Ugh! You're up to something." He said running up the stairs. He came down in a millisecond. I changed songs to Lady Gaga's Love Game.

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick  
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick  
(2x)

(huh) (2x)

I wanna kiss you,  
but if I do then I might miss you, babe  
It's complicated and stupid  
Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid  
Guess he wants to play, wants to play  
a love game, a love game

hold me and love me  
just want touch you for a minute  
maybe three seconds is enough  
for my heart to quit it

let's have some fun, this beat is sick  
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick  
don't think too much, just bust that kick  
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

let's play a love game, play a love game  
do you want love, or you want fame  
are you in the game  
dons the love game  
(2x)

"AAAHHH! Emmett cut it out!" He said as he ran out the door.

"Ha! Loser!" I said then a rock hit my head. And it hurt! I screamed and ran to the kitchen to Esme and everyone else.

"Mommy! Threw a rock at me and it hurt!" I said. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and even Carlisle started laughing. Ugh! Walked back to the living room and started playing call of duty again. I'm gonna get my revenge!


	13. Bella gets dared

**Bella's Pov.**

Emmett has been acting weirdly all day. His hasn't done anything that is against Esmes rules, done anything illegal or got into a major argument. Edward, Esme & Renesmee had just left the to go hunting today. Carlisle is at the hostpital and Rose has gone grocery shopping for Renesmee. So I was in the arms of Jasper and Emmet, well at least Alice has stayed here to prevent 'further corruption' as Edward would put it. Me, Emmet and Jasper were sitting in the spacious living room thinking of things to do. Emmet jumped up with a big grin on his face. He ran super vampire speed up too the second floor of Carlisle and Esmses house. Me and Jasper exchanged a look. _What was Emmet doing?_ I thought. Emmet came down holding an expensive video recorder. Me and Jasper exchanged another look. Emmet's smiled became awfully evil. _What was he planning on doing?_

"Little sister." Emmet began looking towards me. I grimaced. I hated it when any of my family called me little sister. "Have you ever played truth or dares?". Why was he asking me if i had played truth or dares? Everyone on the freakin' universe has played truth or dares.

"Yeah..." I said slowly nodding my heads with a confused look on my face. Emmet gawaufed loudly. I looked at Jasper who had a smug smile on his face. What were they keeping from me? Its like being with Edward, always having a private joke with someone. Emmet opened his mouth to say something.

"By any chance, have you ever played **Cullen **truth or dares?" Jasper said, properly stealing what Emmet was going to say. The truth was i had _not _played Cullen truth or dares, the fact was i did not intend too. Everything about Emmet was stupidness, after a few years of being a vampire Jasper loosened up. I could tell they had something bad in plan, properly getting arrested or high on cocaine or something like that. I sighed heavily then shook my head slowly left to right. I wouldn't get out of this, they would forcefully carry me to do the dare. I saw the camcorder in Emmet's hand. I groaned they were going to _record _us doing stupid things. It would all get out of control, I would get hurt and Edward would go mad at presumably Emmet.

"Well you're in for a mighty treat then." Emmet said smugly with an evil smile on his face.

did not like the sounds of their voices. Something told me to shout out _no! You will humiliate me to shreds! _But on the other hand i did want to find out what 'Cullen truth or dares was'.

"Okay..." I said slowly. Edward was going to be up for murder when he and Renesmee got back. Jasper smiled apologetically at me whilst Emmet smile turned sinster and evil.

"Seeing as it's Bellas first time....I think she should go first, okay Bella...Truth or Dare?" Emmet asked. I so did not want to do dare because I would properly end up getting arrested, I did not want to pick truth as he would ask about my sex life. As i was deciding Jasper click play on the camcorder.

"Dare..." I said slowly and uneasy. Jasper chuckled lightly to himself as Emmet's grin got wider. Emmet and Jasper both got out of their seats. "Where are you going? What's my dare??" I asked as I got out of my seat to follow them. Jasper opened up the door to see Alice in the doorway. _Not Alice too! She was going to make me go and kiss Mike Newton!_. Alice smiled evilly to herself just as Emmet did. Were all the Cullens this evil?

"Your dare Bella is too let Alice dress you up and go to Mike Newton's house and seduce him." Emmet said smugly. This was it; I was going to possibly kill him.

What?" I asked in a bemused voice. _Seduce Mike Newton?!_ There was no way Edward would allow this. I groaned and growled at the three vampires that stood in front of me. Emmet snickered. Could he not take anything seriously? I sighed heavily and let me barrier down. _Edward! You better HOPE you can hear me now, okay? _I desperately thought, hoping Edward could hear and come save the day. _You better ring up Emmet and tell him their is NO WAY i am going to seduce Mike Newton! Please, please ring up....NOW!_

"Look Bells..." Alice said trailing off into the vision thought look and closed her eyes, her breathing steadied into a slow motion. I sighed again. They were going to make me do this. I would _never, ever _have sex with Mike Newton; I mean come on, MIKE NEWTON! She reopened her eyes and smiled brightly. "Your aren't actually going to sleep with him, just you know...go on a date with him, kiss a little, you know..." I growled at the pixie vampire that stood before me. I had my 'Angry' look on my face. Jasper obviously saw this and sent calm waves before me, I was glad because if he didn't I was going to rip his wife to pieces. I sighed in defeat. She jumped up and down all the time screaming "YAYYYYY!". It wasn't long before Emmet joined in too. Sometimes i think Emmet is more of a girl than what he calls himself a 'Man.'

"Fine Alice,**" **I spat giving Alice evil looks. Alice stopped jumping with Emmet (who carried on) and smiled happily with what I was about to do. Alice ran over, vampire speed, and hugged me. I gave in and hugged her back, even though she was terribly annoying, you couldn't resist her charm. "By the way Emmet, you look like a girl." I added, making Jasper, Alice and me laugh. Emmet stopped jumping and growled at me. The one thing Emmet hated was being contradicted about his manhood. Jasper sent calm waves towards him. Alice pulled me out of the doorway whilst Jasper (who was now recording) recorded me on the camcorder.

"Lets get this show on the !" Emmet roared, making the garage where the cars were kept, shake. Alice was going to pay for this!


	14. Vampires don't like fish

Bella's Pov.

Me, Alice, Emmet and Jasper were all in Emmets jeep as we headed too Mike Newtons house. I shuddered. Even the thought of Mike made me feel sick. Oh well, Edward would kill them for this, not me. I was glad Renesmee wasn't here, or Carisle or Esme. It would just be _too _embarrasing to do it in front of them. Mabye Edward heard Alice thinking about playing truth or dare and took Renesmee away, or mabye not. I was glad either way she didn't witness this. Alice suddenly burst out laughing. Jasper turned round, getting a shot of me and Alice in his 'Homemade.' video. Emmet looked at us, taking his eyes off the road. He quickly looked back whilst Jasper looked at Alice puzzeld.

"Mik--ke....H-has...Lepo---ardd....underwear!" Alice burst out into another laugh. Everyone laughed except me. I was sending off anger waves to get Jasper and his stupid camcorder. I groaned as we turned up at Mikes house.

"Enjoy your dare Bella." Emmet said slying. I sent out more anger waves, ha, that would get Jasper back. I sighed and got out the car. Jasper and everyone else got out the car. They went into the garden or somewhere to record the video. I sighed again and walked to the door. I tapped it lightly three times. Mike appeared at the door imedeiently. I almost gasped at the state of him. He smelt of alcohol and looked horrid, like he hadn't shaved, well, ever. I gave him a smile as he almost passed out.

"Bella?" He asked austounded. _Hmm, should i say i'm bellas younger sister? I don't want to give my secret away, now, do i?_ I thought to myself.

"No, i'm her sister." I said giving him another smile. He took deep breaths in and out. I heard Jasper snicker. Stupid Jasper. He would so pay for sending lust waves out.

"Come in babe. Do you like fish? I have _tons _of fish..." He said whilst i walked in. Boy, this was going to be a long date.

I walked into Mikes house. It was kinda freaky, on every wall their was either a picture of me or a picture of starwars or return of the jedi. Huh, i guess he never grew up. He lead me up too his bedroom. Everything was covered in Starwars stuff! His single bed had starwars covers. I can see why it's a single bed. His curtins hung halfway down and had starsabers on them. There was a few posters that had retun of the jedi on. He had a rug that had Luke skywalker on it. How on earth do i know who he is? I have never even seen starwars! I noticed that Mike had gone out of his bedroom. Huh, proberly to change into his lepord undies. I gagged at the thought. I heard Emmet sinker, he then appeared at the widowsill. I opened my eyes wide as to say 'Go away!' , He laughed again then jumped on the roof, he hung the camcorder down just a tiny bit so it could get a shot. Stupid Emmet. Mike came back in some lepord print breifs, as he thought 'Sexy'. I shuddered. I heard Alice, Jasper and Emmet laugh loudly. Mike wouldn't hear thought. Atleast he forgot about the fish. He came and sat on his starwars bed and pulled me along with him. There was no WAY i was going to sleep with him. _Edward Cullen! Listen to me, come here and resuce me! _I mentally thought to Edward. Mike put his arm around me. My other sibling laughed once more.

"So, Bellas little sister has the hots for me?" Mike asked me. The truth was i wasn't her sister and i didn't have the 'Hots' for him. Stupid mike. My family who witnessed this laughed again. I smiled uneasily and nodded slightly. Mike kissed me roughly. I thought i was going to be sick, i really did.

"Mike, mabye i'm a little too young for you.." I said slowly once he stopped molestering me. His face dropped to a pout. He sighed and reasled me from his grasp.

"At least come on a pinic with me in my garden..." He said getting up. I nodded once. I _guess _a pinic was okay, in his garden. We both got up and went toward his garden. I noticed Alice and Jasper in the bushes, unnoticed to the human eye. I also noticed Emmet on the roof. I also noticed Mike had everything set up. A blanket, a basket and...Some wine! Was he planning to get me drunk? Can vampires even get drunk? He pulled me toward the blanket and we both sat down. Mike poured us both a glass of wine. I took a small sip of the red stuff, i didn't taste _too _bad. I felt alright untill Mike opened the basket that contained the human food. The basket was completly filled with...._**FISH!**_ Every type of fish was there, Angel fish, Clownfish even a live eel! I Gagged. Alice and Jasper laughed at the fishy sight. Mike took a big bite of the angel fish. That was my last thought before i ran into the bushes to be sick.


	15. A mental instute & icecream !

Bellas Pov.

I ran and ran far far away from Mike Newtons house, i hoped i never returned. Alice, Jasper and Emmet (who still had the camcorder) were running behind me at human speed, laughing all the way. I stopped and slapped Emmet on the arm hard, or what i thought hard, it didn't seem to affect him but make him laugh even more. I sighed and waited for Jasper too send out calm waves, when he did i returned back to normal. It was my turn to pick someone. But who shall i pick? _Hmm i could pick Jasper! Hahaha, if he chooses dare i could send him into a mental hospital! Perfect!_. We were just entering the white house when i spoke.

"Jasper, Truth or Dare?" I said with my ultimate poker face on. I hoped Alice didn't see this in the future. Jasper diliberated for a second. He tilted his head to the side then back.

"Dare." He said calmely. Oh if only he knew, i thought. Stupid Jasper, i thought vampires were smart? My poker face disapered as a evil glit replaced it. Alice gasped, she obviously saw Jaspers future.

"No! Bella thats so me--" I cut Alice off from saying any more. Jasper looked frighten instead of calm now. He eyes flickered from mine to Alice, then back to mine.

"Jasper, i dare you to spend the night in a mental instute."

Edward Pov.

After me and Nessie finshed hunting we started heading towards my volo to go home. I wondered what Bella was up too. I hoped Alice, Jasper and Emmet wern't doing anything too evil too her. I still worry about her, even though she is a vampire. As we got into the car i decided to read their minds.

_What? A MENTAL INSTUE? I'll go crazy! Its too dangerous, i'll end up killing someone! Bella is so evil! - jasper._

_Haha! Bella's a genuis! She is a true Cullen! Although i do feel sorry for Jasper, poor Jaz....- Alice._

_Hmm was i too hard on Jasper? He looks so upset, it was a good dare though, after what they made me do - Bella._

_Ring ring ring ring banana phone, ring ring ring ring bananana phonee! Wait, what are we doing?- Emmet._

What did they make Bella do? I drove home super fast, we were their in about 10 minutes. Renesmee seemed a little freaked out how fast i drive. When we got to the drive i picked up on their thoughts once more.

_Erugh! Bella is so annoying! If she wasn't my sister i would....oh crap! Edward are you listening?- Jasper._

Jasper proberly heard me growl. I was glad whatever Bella is making him do.

_Hmm, is Edward home? I swear i just heard him growl....- Alice._

_Is that Edward and Renesmee! Yay, now he can beat up Emmet and Jasper for what they made me do!- Bella._

I growled more. What did Jasper and Emmet make her do? Renesmee looked at me confused. I decided to listen to what crap Emmet was thinking.

_You get the BESTTT of both WORLDSSS! Haha Edddie Poo, do you like my song?- Emmet._

Finnaly we entered the house to find Bella on a chair looking happy and exicted, Alice looking bored, Emmet looking...well Emmetish and Jasper looking scared.

"Emmet, Jasper, Whats going on?"

Emmetts Pov.

_Shit, Shit, SHIT! Edwards back! Ooooh man he is tottaly going to fry up me and Jasper then serve us to Nessie once he finds out what we made Bella do! Haha Jaspers dare is so funny, Bella is such a Cullen...Wait...What was Jaspers dare again?? Was it something to do with......I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world so fantastic.... _My thoughts were interputed by Eddie Kins growling. I laughed....A LOT! He didn't like it when i sung my all time fave song Barbie girl by Aqua. Well, to be honest he didn't like it when i sung any song_. _He is just jelous of the music talent he doesn't posses.

"Emmett." Eddie spat threw his teeth. I laughed harder at his attempt to sound 'Dangerous.'. I looked around to find Jasper looking...Well, mad, to find Alice painting her nails, to find Bella looking pleased with her self and to find Nessie looking confused. "What did you make Bella do?".

"Erm...Well....Hmmmm....." I said sheeplieless, not wanting to be the one to admit what we made Bella do. "Ermmmm...." I contiuned and looked around the room. When i finnaly reached Nessie i jumped up and screamed out mabye a little too loud. "Who wants Icecream??". Nessie ran over to me and started jumping up and down. Phew, that got me out of the dog house. Well, for a while. I joined Nessie jumping up and down. We both then ran out to find the nearest place that sold Icecream. Haha i am the great genuius Emmett.

Edward Pov.

I sat down next to Bella and asked her what they made her do. She replied with "They made me kiss Mike Newton, they video recorded it. See." She said pointing out to Jasper who held _MY _video recorder. _Mine? Why werre they using mine! They had their own!...Well they may had video recordered some stuff i never want to see on it, i already got a glispe of it in my mind...._I thought. I shuddered at the site of Emmetts huge ass. I kissed Bella softly on the lips to retract the thought of Emmett, it worked. "Jasper, now has to go to a mental instue." Bella said, getting up. Alice and Me got up and the same time, Jasper got up looking frightend. Bella took the camer off him.

"Please Alice..." He said pleading with Alice. She shook her head then stuck her tounge out at him. She was incredibely annoying for someone so small. He hung he head in defeat and walked to the car. Instead of always taking my volo we took Bellas car. Bella had quite happlie addapted to driving Cullen style. I kissed her forhead for that. We arrived in Seattles Mental Insstue in about 10 minutes. When we entered the place a nasty smell wafered our way. A human proberly couldn't tell this smell but i felt like i wanted to gag. We walked up to the desk. Alice spoke first.

"Hi, my husband needs looking after. He says he hears voices in his head...." Alice said, glancing at Jasper who was crying Tearlessly. Me and Bella burst out laughing. Shame Emmett and Renesmee were missing this. The resptionist threw us a look.

_God not another Wack Job. Belugh look at these two kids, laughing. So bad, although i wouldn't mind a peice of that broze lad...hmmm tasty..mabye i co.._

I kissed Bella on the head again to get rid of what ever that horrid 60 year old was about to think. She got up and told us to go to this room. We left Jasper their and ran out laughing.

_Edwarddddddddd!! I'm going mad here! So many Emotions....Sad...Lonely....Suisidal....Mad....Help me Edward! I need help here Edward! Save me before i go mad!_

I laughed at Jaspers pleads. We headed back to Bellas car. I wondered where Emmett and Renesmee were. Emmetts proberly in jail knowing him. I wondered where Roasile was. Oh, she was with Emmet and Nessie. I picked up on her thoughts.

_God Nessies more of a adult than Emmett! Oh my Carilse he just got icecream in my hair! No Emmett don't throw it at the shop keeper....._

Roaisles Pov.

"My...God! Emmett! Sto-" I didn't get any further as Emmett threw another icecream at Renesmee, but she ducked and unfourtuntly it hit me and my, well was, perfect hair and face. I shrieked and sprinted over to Emmett. I hit him hard on the head, it seemed to hurt him. Renesmee let out a loud laugh. The shop we are in is a state. Ice cream _all _over the walls, the shopkeeper covered in icecream just like Renesmee and me. I swear Emmett is high or something like that, vampires can get drunk and high right? Emmett lobed another icecream at Nessie.

"Get out of my shop, the police are on their way!" The shopkeepr stuttered slowly, in what he called a "Scary" voice. Emmett bombed another icecream cone at him too shut up, he did so. I heard police syrins on the way, about 5 miuntes away.

"Come on Renesmee, the police are on there way!" I said, grabbing her hand and running out of the shop. The police came just as we made it out of the shop. Emmetts in huge trouble with Carilse and Esme now.

Jaspers Pov.

_Come on Jasper, just one more hour to go till they pick you up. They are proberly watching you now, video recording you...come on Jasper! You were in the army for 5 years and you cannot stand to be one night in a mental instue? Oh gosh Edward, Please! I know your listening! Come and get me now!_

_**one hour later.**_

"Jasper Hale?" A old lady spoke to me, who was still in the cornor, when she came i straightened right up again. "Your family are here, your free too go.". I ran out before she could say anymore.

* * *

When we got home i noticed that Renesmee and Roasile were _covered _in icecream. I brought my eyebrows together, just as Alice, Bella and Edward did. We did that for about a second untill we all said at the same time "Emmett.", like an explaination, just as we did, the man himself walked right in.

"Police." He said, joining the rest of us in a circle to get on with the game.

"Okay, Edward, Truth or Dare?" I asked Edward. He hestiated for a moment, i felt doubt. Ha, _sweet revenge. _

"Dare?" He said, in a asking voice. He raised his eyebrows then pulled them together. "NO!_NO!"_ He suddenly screamed out, and stood up with his hands together, begging like. "Anything else!_ANYTHING!"_

"Pay backs a bitch." i smircked.


End file.
